KEEPING IT REAL: Seattle author Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers’ ‘Shameless Parenting’ book is as good as advertised
Andre Johnson 
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. (Proverbs 31:16 ESV)
A FAMILY GAME-CHANGER
For Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, her quest for composing her latest book was spearheaded in large part by a simple few cheats.
And the rest, as they say, was history.
“I began writing the cheat sheet a couple of years ago,” Dr. Sellers, a bestselling author, told Making Headline News this week. “I put the book together a year ago.”
The book to which Dr. Sellers is alluding is Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need To Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too!
An accomplished Sex and Gender Feminist Psychotherapist, Dr. Sellers’ Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need To Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! made its ceremonious debut in May 2021 and, much to the delight of this Seattle-based writer, it is an awe-inspiring written work that is as good as advertised.
BUY DR. SELLERS’ BOOKS: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/
“Several years ago, after over 30 years working with physicians, therapists, clergy and educators — helping them deal with the sexual health concerns of their clients, patients, parishioners, and families — I became acutely aware that the lack of sexual health information that we as a country fail to provide our public both in our homes as well as in our graduate training programs was crippling our families and our children’s ability to form healthy relationships,” said Dr. Sellers, explaining the mission behind her latest book. “By not providing healthy accurate information and only providing inaccurate media, we had created a rape culture filled with violence, sham, and doubt. Given that governmental policy didn’t seem interested in providing the tools parents needed most, I decided to develop tools for doctors, teachers, clergy, psychotherapists, and other healers.”
Interestingly, Dr. Sellers appropriately labeled such tools as “Developmental Cheat Sheets,” she recalls.
“They could be used in their professional settings with parents to help support them as they raised their children,” she further explained. “These cheat sheets would provide information on behavioral and emotional tasks typical for that age, the typical sexual and sensual curiosities of that age, the typical shame triggers parents often feel when kids are doing those behaviors, ideas on how to heal those shame triggers, and the leading resources — books and websites — for parents and kids at that age and stage. I then sent all the cheat sheets to an illustrator. I then asked colleagues to look over the cheat sheets to offer some critique. One of my colleagues suggested I also put all this information in a book for parents so they, too, might have this information at their fingertips.”
In a nutshell, Dr. Sellers’ Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need To Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! is widely regarded as what this author vividly describes as the 21st century book parents have been asking for, she acknowledged in a detailed synopsis of this book at Amazon.com.
“It highlights the trickiest parts of each age — birth to 18 — that tend to trigger shame and guides them on how to provide emotionally for their children while helping them understand the shame that is emerging for them,” said an Amazon spokesperson Dr. Sellers’ published work. “Shame is what makes us reactive as parents. It is the hardest part of parenting. It is from our own places of shame that we overreact, repeating patterns from our parents that we might otherwise have resisted and finding ourselves stuck, not knowing what to do.”
In other words, Dr. Sellers stresses, among other things, that Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need To Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! “has your back,” given allows you to feel prepared for each stage of your child’s emotional and sexual development before you get there, and it gives you everything you need before you are caught off guard, including sex ed when that times comes for your child.”
A book she needed somewhere in the neighborhood of a year to compose, Dr. Sellers deemed it imperative to compose a book to which this generation could greatly relate.
“I wanted to resource parents to be more successful with their kids,” Dr. Sellers said. “I wanted them to feel less shame around their child’s natural sexual curiosities and how to parent around these curiosities as they emerge. I wanted parents to feel confident in this area so they know how to resource their children…so their child is able to protect themselves out in the world and be able to know if they are in danger or about to be exploited.
“I want to help parents reduce their shame so they are less reactive and, ultimately, by being less reactive, so their child might be more likely to continue to come and talk to their parent about their concerns as they grow up,” Dr. Sellers continued. “I want kids to see their parents as a strong, reliable, and helpful resource. However, kids only see their parents as a resource if their parent is non-reactive and able to be a calm, informed, sexual health, and relationship resource for them. If parents are authoritative, punitive, demanding, and shame-based, children will go underground and will not confide in their parents. This puts children at risk.”
Besides Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need To Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too!, Dr. Sellers is responsible for having authored the following books:
- Sex, Gender & Christianity, 2012, Cascade Books, released in 2012
- Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame From Sexual Intimacy, which debuted in 2017 and,
- A Practice Beyond Cultural Humility: How Clinicians Work Effectively In A Diverse World, released in 2020.
Other books are forthcoming, Dr. Sellers told MHN.
“I may write a memoire someday, and I may write a couple of children’s books for my grandchildren,” she said. “I hope this book plays a role in reversing the legacy of sexual shame for many people and ushering in generations of joy and a deep sense of knowing one’s belovedness.”
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID ABOUT SHAMELESS PARENTING
“Shameless Parenting is a practical, readable, compact guide for parents who want to parent without shame. As a pastoral counselor, I wish every parent would read this incredibly helpful resource. From her deep well of knowledge, Tina Schermer Sellers has lovingly compiled an excellent guide for busy parents who want to get it right. Shameless Parenting provides the assistance every parent needs to lessen suffering and change lives.” — Dr. Paula Stone Williams
“Finally. Finally! For such a long time, we have needed sane, science-based, morally intelligent, and practical guidance to help parents raise children without shame. When I opened Tina Schermer Sellers new book on this subject, I expected the focus to be on shame in the child, but she brilliantly focuses on shame in parents which then leads to shame in children. If you’re a parent or know one, this is a must read. You’ll refer back to it year after year, and someday, your kids will thank you for reading it.“ — Brian D. McLaren
“If I could give both new and veteran parents one book on raising sexually and emotionally healthy children, this would be it. What’s unique here is how Tina Sellars gracefully holds our hands as parents who bring our own histories of unease about sexual matters. Written in bite-sized, easy-to-absorb sections, Shameless Parenting brings information, hope, and even joy to the most difficult part of parenting in today’s world.” — William J. Doherty, Ph.D.
“Parent or not, Shameless Parenting is for anyone who desires practical tools to heal from the paralyzing prison of shame. As I reflected on the profound insights and questions presented in this book, I realized that I am afraid that I am irrevocably bound to pass on my parents’ legacy of shame. Though I am not a parent — this book helped me to see that my shame-based fear infects all of my relationships, preventing me from moving into deeper intimacy because I am afraid I will do to others as my parents have done to me. But this book goes beyond raising awareness! A brilliant practitioner, Dr. Tina offers diverse practices and resources to not just uncover shame, but also to heal from it and move forward with self-compassion and confidence. What a gorgeous, powerful, and accessible resource!” — Christena Cleveland, Ph.D.
“One of my parenting goals is that my kids would have just a little less shame and baggage than I did growing up (especially around sex). Thanks to Tina’s “Shameless Parenting,” suddenly my goal is not just reachable, but immensely surpassable. Oh how I long for a world less burdened by shame, and now that can start in my own home with own family. Truly a special gift.” — Colby Martin
I’ve been following your guidance for years and always share it with my closest friends because it is such profound parenting advice. The work you’re doing is very important and is helping turn the tide. I have a very different perspective now. I can see the value of encouraging my girls’ (age 17 and 16 now) of choosing/writing their own story. They’re going to do it anyway – they have more information and exposure than we ever did at their age. They have the world at their feet and I want them to be in the driver’s seat. It’s so different than the evangelical path of weirdness I was given. I’m not as rattled as I used to be and as a result, I’m available to talk, wonder and joke about love. — Brooke Anderson
MORE ON DR. SELLERS
For more information about Seattle bestselling author Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, to inquire about her books, a speaking engagement, book signing, or interview requests, call her publicist, Dr. Ashley Little, at 757-773-5504 or connect with her via Facebook: Dr. Ashley Little; Instagram: _ashleyalittle. Also, log on to https://www.ashleylittleenterprises.com/ or send email to: [email protected].
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Andre Johnson is the award-winning Founder and Publisher for Making Headline News. A 2000 graduate of the University of Memphis School of Journalism and a former staff reporter of sports for the Memphis Commercial Appeal newspaper, Johnson covers the NBA Southwest Division from Dallas, Texas. To reach Johnson, send email to [email protected] or to [email protected]. Also, follow him on Twitter @AJ_Journalist or Instagram at @makingheadlinenews.
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