DALLAS — Shortly after 2 p.m. on Tuesday, Terry Vincent pulled up to Starbucks Coffee Shop off of Texas Interstate 183, just minutes from Downtown Dallas.
Once inside, Vincent wasted little time counting his blessings, recalling, among other things, how God had strategically restored his marriage a little more than a decade ago.
“In my own marriage, I discovered that we had gone through difficult times trying to learn each other, ” Vincent, during an exclusive interview with Making Headline News, said as he explained in great details the turbulent events surrounding his marriage to Wanda Vincent, his wife of nearly 25 years. “I’ve learned through my own marriage that some things aren’t learned in the classroom but rather in the field.”
It was, by all accounts, because of Terry Vincent’s subsequent separation from his wife that ultimately served as what he labeled a defining moment, of sorts, a notable development that greatly fueled his desire to process what had become a marriage on the rocks, a turn of events that gave way to much heartache and misery and despair, a tear-jerking, gut-checking encounter that inspired him mightily to get his act together.
“During that time, I was able to hear God more,” Terry Vincent said.
So much, in fact, that Vincent, 48, the Founder and Senior Pastor of Restoration Of Faith Fellowship Church in nearby Arlington, Texas had assumed another God-mandated assignment, one that, fortunately for him, altered the overall landscape of his life.
“I was lonely without my wife,” Vincent said.
During his separation to his spouse, Vincent was purposed to write a book entitled, “Taking The Dys Out Of Dysfunction,” a published document that depicts the tumultuous events and downtrodden experiences that led to a short, but painful hiatus from his wife as well as an intimate spiritual encounter with God, one that suddenly gave way to an eventual marriage reconciliation.
“It spoke volumes to me, because I knew God had to speak to me in order for me to humble myself,” Vincent, a Kalamazoo, Michigan native said, explaining his vision for his book, which will be released in the coming months, but at a date that has yet to be announced.
In recalling the chaos that led to the separation from his wife, Vincent admittedly struggled with anger issues, a trend that though it caused an array of hardships and isolation in his marriage, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly from where it arose.
“When I say unexplained (anger), I don’t know where it came from,” Vincent said. “You didn’t see it growing up. I mean, you just didn’t see it. I said things that were inflammatory.”
Offensive to the point where this son of a renowned Tulsa, Oklahoma-area preacher found himself having to attend anger management classes.
Heck, he had no other choice, really.
It was either he control his anger or risk losing Wanda.
Possibly forever.
That’s when Vincent — sitting on the edge of his chair in that North Dallas coffee shop — specifically acknowledged having witnessed arguably the biggest wakeup call of his young life.
“I had to go to anger management classes to see what was the deal with me,” Vincent explained. “Anger is a spirit. And if you subject yourself to certain spirits, it’ll open up others.”
Conversely, there are two other vital areas to which Vincent alludes in his book: “Unresolved Issues” and the common feeling in which couples simply “Just Don’t Know.”
“And that goes back to the investment part,” he said. “It’s not so much that our parents didn’t demonstrate (unity and love). “But we have to find out what works for us. We have to make investments. We make investments in our health. We make investments in our automobiles. We make investments in shopping. But we never make investments in our marriage. Couples tend to put up their walls. And when they do that, that’s when fear sets in.”
A pastor since April 2004 when he founded his Texas-based church after having spent a majority of life in Tulsa, Vincent said it wasn’t until he made proper investments — and adjustments — that God ultimately opened the door to a renewed sense of love and enthusiasm and unity for he and his wife.
“I was lonely without my wife,” Vincent said.
As it turned out, Wanda was lonely without him. That’s when things began to shift in a positive direction — with God, their Helper, leading the way.
“God told me to contact her,” said Vincent, who sensed at the time that his separation to his wife and the mother of his three children was nearing a ceremonious end. “This time, God gave me how to say and what to say. And when I followed His direction, the response I got shocked me. The conversations that were once combative and perplexing were peaceful.”
After all, he’d be the first to admit that is he and Wanda can weather arguably the toughest of adversities then, surely, they can empower and educate others to follow suit.
As far as Vincent — who holds a Bachelor’s degree in Christian Studies from Dallas Baptist University — is concerned, although he and his wife reconciled their marriage, he sensed it was a foregone conclusion that he move forward with his book.
After all, he’d be the first to admit that if he and Wanda can weather arguably the toughest of adversities then, surely, they can empower and educate other couples to follow suit.
“Buy it,” said Vincent, issuing an appeal to his audience to commit to purchasing his book. “Buy it right now. It’s going to bless you.”
Chances are, buyers of “Taking The Dys Out Of Dysfunction” will thoroughly embrace his seemingly unyielding transparency, a trend that could very well enable them to do way with the dreaded “Dys.”
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Andre Johnson is Founder and Publisher for Making Headline News. A 2000 graduate of the University of Memphis School of Journalism and a former staff reporter the Memphis Commercial Appeal newspaper, Johnson covers the NBA Southwest Division from Dallas, Texas. To reach Johnson, send an email to memphisgraduate@yahoo.com. Also, follow him on Twitter @AJ_Journalist.
